Pretending, as a behaviour, always had and still has negative connotations to people’s minds. To pretend means to behave so as to make it appear that something is the case when in fact it is not. It means that you lie. It means you being a fraud.
The phrase “fake it till you make it” make most of us cringe because is associated with cocky people sacrificing friends, family and morals in order to reach a goal or a status no matter what. This phrase for me though, has an entirely different meaning and helps me realise who I am and the direction I need to head to, to become who I want to be.
Since the day I identified myself as a creative person, I was trying to diminish or hide what others were seeing in me and describing as “talent”. For me, the things that I create are ordinary, normal, a personal way of communication that most of the time pops up without me trying much. At first I thought that this almost effortless creation was common and known to everyone. When I realised that this was not true, that some people envied the skills that I once thought common, this realisation filled me with guilt and sometimes with shame. I didn’t want to make anyone feel bad about themselves so I started feeling bad myself instead.
As a professional, I struggled to accept that my skills, expertise and knowledge could contribute immensely to my clients’ success. Let alone that they would actually value the things I bring to the table and pay me a generous amount of money for that.
Then, something extraordinary happened. While reading a book on how the human brain works and how visualisation plays a huge role on what actually materialises in the end, I decided to make an experiment and use this knowledge about the brain’s function on me. I realised that my thoughts lead me to were I was until then and that they inevitably would structure my future self too. Once I knew what this meant, I felt excited and extremely frightened at the same time. Freedom comes with great responsibility after all. The phrase “fake it till you make it” had now a whole new meaning. It’s not “faking it” but more embracing and practicing the way your future self would make things. The way your future self would respond to different situations and challenges. The way your future self would feel.
Practicing the habits and the way of thinking of a future version of you, is a sincere act that strengthens you. Not something to be ashamed of, or feel guilty about. I don’t believe in linear time, so I refuse to accept that acting as your future self is any different than acting as you.
Music to listen to while reading this post: https://youtu.be/fUQed1b4zlI
Taste: Vanilla Custard with Cinnamon